mindset

i was once a lover too, and i had been hurt badly too.
Oh, i miss being loved.
But there's no necessary to pick up a random guy to be loved..
'til this moment, i just can't see anyone to love me for who i am, what i think, and how i act.
The worst thing is im gonna end up being a spinster, lol :p
i know, im only eighteenth and my mind has flown way too far in the further..
Nah, i had a lot of talks, still about my major stuff, im not blabbering in here again, i'll just make a quick decision later maybe after this whole considering thing..

This three week holiday seems too long for me, yet i hope i could really use my time to study..
i don't wanna be a failure, i might not dream to be a business-woman, doctor, or anything specifically.., but i do want to travel the world, become an independent woman, and a good daughter.
i know im simply not just ordinary, i have something special in me, no matter how i belittle myself sometimes..
Im always not the so stupid one even if im probably one of the laziest.
And im glad for that gift, all this time, im glad for that ability i have

Chinese new year has passed, i will turn 20 year old in Chinese calendar, getting older and older..
I acknowledge this mind-set i have, this indecisive thought.. that high school and university is just a phase of life, not the destination.. That whatever major you take is not what decides what you could be..
Ah, im simply just me, i need not anyone to tell me what to do, simply just stubborn, hardheaded me..
Glad to be me.

I took a long nap this afternoon, so i haven't felt sleepy so far..
I want a productive day, just like what i had back in high school.. :(
i hate being idle..